John Fisher - The Tommy Cooper All in One Joke Book

For the first time the complete Tommy Cooper in a bumper paperback. Put the smile into Christmas with this, the definitive Tommy Cooper Joke book. Including the pick of Tommy's own extensive gag library, favourite stories and photographs.
 
My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree.

A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?'

I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.'

I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences.

I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.'

I call my car flattery. It gets me knowwhere.